Saturday, 18 April 2009
Salsa Workshop Poem
The truth of it
The monumental blue clouds sit heavy on our horizon,
but I am trying to tell a story of the inside, here,
though there’s something to be said for the looming.
It all comes down to your monumental I don’t know,
drama lent to it from the blue-cloud sky I stared at
to avoid your eyes. Or perhaps it was you
who avoided mine – who said outside, look,
the monumental blue clouds are filling the night
and me who agreed, who held on to it, who is here now
waiting for this I don’t know to happen amidst all the other unknowns
we wait for and prepare. I clamber out, slip between
the blue damp and home; a resolution, of sorts,
and your heavy I don’t know obsession in my pocket.
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Really good. I love your use of repetition and the heavy, slightly sinister emotional content. The situation lends stronger 'background colour' than it would if it were made explicit.
ReplyDeleteMy only quibble: the line
and me who agreed, who held on to it, who is here nowshould, for grammar' sake, read
and I who agreed, who held on to it, who am here now.
Ah yes, very good grammar point, thank you. And thanks, too, for the encouraging and helpful comments. They're always appreciated!
ReplyDeleteLove it! so much. i also like that you comment back as your old catalogue25 self like its not far enough into twentysix for it to be really you yet.
ReplyDelete